I woke up having a pity-party for myself today.
Jealous that Cec gets to leave the house, meet his friends, laugh, be carefree.
And I was feeling sad, isolated, trapped, and just negative about today, and all the domestic duties I'd have.
But...... I had a choice.
I could choose to be pissed all day, feeling sorry for myself,
or I could choose JOY.
I spent this morning dedicating my attitude, my relationship with my babies, and my heart to Jesus. Begging him to help me. Help change my heart, love my babies, and value Cecil's ministry.
And deep down...
I know that my part in this ministry is valuable, even though it isn't always easy or fun or recognized by others or appreciated.
Choosing to imitate Christ and then doing it, isn't easy.
But I guess the best things in life always come at the greatest cost.
So, I put Judah down for his nap, cleaned up the breakfast mess, and now Solas and I are sitting in the living room, being quiet.
I look out the window and feel appreciation for today.
Its dark and rainy (my favorite Bakersfield-type day),
AND
the tree outside is blooming!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the best part??????????
Its pink.
I feel like.... even though I was starting to feel bitterness, I was able to choose joy instead of a poor attitude, and as a reward???
My favorite weather......... beauty right outside my window.... and my favorite color.
Its like..... even if a mother's work isn't valued.
God knows. And he blessed me in a really personal way today.
~Tracy
ps.............. I forgot to talk about food. I DID make my first homemade bread yesterday and it was GREAT!
